Friday, August 12, 2016

Day 19: Awkwardness and Support

I'm almost at the end of my third week without eating any solid food, and physically I feel great.  I actually think what I'm putting in my body is better now than when I was just eating whatever without really thinking about it.  

The most difficult part so far has been the emotional aspect of it.  In the beginning, I had concerned family and friends wanting to make sure I was okay.  I still have friends who disagree with what I'm doing, and some of them still support me while others have said they can't deal with it and have stopped talking to me.

The awkwardness has entered when I've met up with friends at restaurants.  They've all ordered meals, and I've sat there and had a drink while they eat. Some friends feel "weird" about this, some don't care, some try to be up in my face about how delicious the food is, and some just make fun of me (which I think is my favorite option and probably what I'd be doing if I had a friend in a similar situation).

Last week at breakfast, one of my friends decided to announce to our waitress before she ordered that, "He's not eating, but I'm going to have...".  I think it was her way of making fun of me and letting everyone in our vicinity know I wasn't eating.  

At dinner last night before the Red Sox game, my friend and I went to a Mexican place near Fenway.  They brought out chips and salsa before we even ordered drinks, as many Mexican restaurants will do.  After getting our drinks my friend ordered her burrito, and I told our waiter I wasn't having anything.  He then told us that the chips only came as part of ordering a main dish, and I told him I had no problem paying for the chips and salsa...which they didn't end up not putting on our bill anyway.  

One of my friends told me about a woman who just ended her 16-year long hunger strike.  She was arrested after tarting her protest, being force fed through tubes, and stopped after a judge granted her release.  While I admire and am inspired by her strength and determination, I don't see myself as keeping this up for that long or even to the point of being force fed.  

Like I've told everyone who asks me about this, I live to test my limits.  I love pushing my body and mind and seeing what both are capable of.  As soon as I feel this hunger strike is getting in the way of my health and/or happiness, I will stop.  I believe that day is at the very least months away, but we will see.  

Thank you to all who have supported me, talked to me about this, and opened up conversations that wouldn't have happened had I not decided to take this journey.  

(More on my week with Pearl Jam at Fenway and Red Sox / Yankees later)

No comments:

Post a Comment